


Yellow Days

by enlightenight



Series: Person of Interest Head Canons [1]
Category: Person Of Interest - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-06
Updated: 2012-10-06
Packaged: 2017-11-15 18:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/530278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enlightenight/pseuds/enlightenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You ever crave a more conventional life, Mr Reese?” asked Finch in a low voice.<br/>“I remember asking you same question Finch,” Reese said with a little louder voice than whisper. “And, yes, i did.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yellow Days

Soundtrack: Heaven - I Monster

 

“Have you ever crave a more conventional life, Mr Reese?” asked Finch in a low voice.

They were in library, it was raining outside, there were people trying to find a shelter. Lightnings were enlightening the evening sky, like it was morning, and it was pretty quiet in the library.

“I remember asking you same question Finch,” Reese answered him with a little louder voice than whisper. “Yes, i did. But it was long ago. Like it was from a past which didn’t belong to me.”

Rain was getting heavier, they both didn’t want to leave the library.

*

A conventional life, thought Reese, looking at the window. His brain was protesting him tonight, refusing to stop thinking about past. Tonight, it would be the memories night. 

He took a deep breath and sat down on the wide ledge. Drops were crushing on the glass, making a huge noise but he couldn’t see or hear them.

He was buried in memories.

That good old days, that sunny days, that yellow days... Started in Tacoma, continued in Mexico, ended in airport. 

He was suffering.

Decisions he made, promises he broke, lies he said himself to believe... They were all gone.

She was gone.

Even though he knew that would never happen, sometimes he couldn’t help himself dreaming she was alive and there. There was not an exact location but it was better than nothing.

Better than knowing she was dead.

That yellow days, like a reward he didn’t earn. They understood that he didn’t deserve that reward and took it back.

But it was painful.

After two years, he was sitting on a ledge, looking outside without seeing anything, thinking about a past didn’t belong to him.

This was painful.

He crossed the line that he wanted to die, he missed the correct moment. He missed his love, even though he didn’t think about that all the time.

Alright, he did think about that all the time. Somewhere deep in his heart. Somewhere in dreams. Somewhere in memories. Somewhere in... Everything?

It didn’t make him feel less guilty when he thought he wasn’t the right one for her. And, who decided that? Himself. Who let her live someone like Arndt? He. Who wasn’t there for her? He. That meant he was guilty for her death.

More than anyone.

How could he just stand there, how couldn’t he say to her to wait for him, how could he go away seeing how unhappy she was? How could he let that happen?

He was living in a prison with no guardian but his conscience. His guilt. 

He just wanted to die, once again.

A conventional life, was just a dream.

It always would be a dream.

But what would happen if they were happy? Together?

A white painted house with a porch and a garden in suburbs, maybe a little dog just because kids insisted that much...

But that was just a dream.

From that yellow days.

But his days were blue, gray and black these days. Nothing but sadness, nothing but regret, nothing but pain. 

Nothing but loneliness.

He was just a man, standing all alone, knew end was near.

In the end we’re all alone. And no one is coming to save you.

As if he wanted to be saved.

He stood up, blinked for a few times, let the tears which were already there fall, wiped them out, and walked through the door.

Promised himself one more time not the remember that yellow days.

**Author's Note:**

> gramatical mistakes - sorry guys.


End file.
